So here we are to share some truth. It may be a long one so grab some gin and vermouth. I'll try to throw in some controversy because I know you have a sweet tooth. Now that I have your attention I want to talk with you about a serious subject. Our society protects rapists with a blanket of it's own ignorance. You see the dynamics of sexual assault have changed over the last 30 years or so. The majority of the public and even some police officers and district attorneys and especially potential jurors have no idea what a "real rape" even looks like in the 21st century. Because of this it affects behavior,arrests, and convictions. It affects every facet of the legal system. We can't fix a problem we don't understand. Before I continue I want you to read this:
Where a vigorous woman alleges ravishment it is to be expected that signs of violence such as wounds, bruises and scratches will be present and their absence should induce a moderate degree of skepticism unless the girl avers that she fainted from fear, became panic stricken or was otherwise rendered incapable of physical resistance. The acts and demeanor of the female immediately after the alleged commission should be subjected to very critical investigation in these cases.
-Fundamentals of Criminal Investigation 1970
Generally, the actions and the appearance of a legitimate rape victim leave little doubt that a crime has been committed. Under such circumstances, the victim is highly agitated, emotionally distraught, often in a state of hysteria and may have sustained injuries, cuts, bruises or wounds. The victim’s clothing is often ripped or torn off as evidence that it was forcibly removed and if the rape occurred outdoors, the victim is generally thrown to the ground and her outer garments stained or soiled. Questions may reasonably be raised concerning the validity of rape charges in which none or only a few of the above manifestations exist.
-International Association for Chiefs of Police 1995
Notice in 25 years almost nothing changed if anything at all. Most today will still read those statements and think that it looks about right. Today this is the common stereotypical view of rape and sexual assault. Unfortunately in the above statements there is almost no ounce of truth to any of it. Those two statements above are completely false and I can prove it. I will take this article and use statistical fact to absolutely DESTROY the above statements. As I said before almost nothing in those statements are true in any way, shape, or form. Now for the proof.
To summarize here is what we are going to show you
Most rapes are done by strangers - False
A weapon is normally used - False
There's alot of physical force and violence - False
Victim reports rape immediately - False
Victim is hysterical - False
Victims remember everything correctly and never fabricate - False
Takes place on bad side of town or dim area - False
Committed by minorities - False
That's right almost none of those things happen the majority of the time. Now that isn't saying those things don't happen sometimes because they do. What we are saying is those cases are the minority as compared to all cases. This misconception is so bad that often even rape crisis centers give out misguided advice like always walk in well lit areas or take a self defense course. Now those things will help some but will be useless to most. It won't hurt anything to walk in a well lit area or take a self defense course. I even teach women's self defense courses from time to time. It goes back to the old axiom it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. I think it's great to take a great self defense course my point is don't let it give you a false sense of security or that it is going to fix everything because it definitely won't.
In reality, most sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the victim, without a weapon, physical violence, or signs of physical injury. Very few victims report the sexual assault to the police, but if they do, it is often after a delay of days, weeks, months, or even years. Many victims have a number of factors that limit their perceived credibility: they are often young, homeless, runaways, or transients, have a mental or physical impairment, are belligerent, and/or abusing alcohol or controlled substances. Victims often omit, exaggerate or fabricate parts of their account, and they may even recant altogether. They are not typically hysterical when interviewed by medical professionals, law enforcement investigators, prosecutors, or others.
So why do people believe this crap?
Because the sexual assaults that were reported to law enforcement in the past (e.g., 1970’s) tended to look a lot more like this stereotype than they do now.Because the media tends to portray sexual assaults that fit the stereotype. Because we prefer to keep the issues simple, and not re-examine our assumptions. Because we want to feel safe from threat of sexual assault.
From 1972 to 1976 71% of all sexual assaults reported to the San Diego Police Department were by strangers. But from 1992 to 1996 76% of all sexual assaults reported were committed by someone the victim knew. That number has stayed around 75% give or take a few points every year since then. Did you know that 32 % of all women who are sexually assaulted maintain a relationship with the rapist afterwards? It's true. Did you know that 25% of all women who are raped will have consensual sex with the rapist at a later time. That's jacked up isn't it? You see the reason making sure your walking in a well lit area doesn't help most of the time is because you will know the attacker and let them get close they don't have to sneak up on you. The numbers in Tucson are a little lower but still comparable in 1999 the number was 66% and has stayed pretty much the same since then. You see most of the advice given today about rape prevention is still geared more towards stranger danger which is very outdated and as the statistics show isn't very accurate. This is why we need to get the word out. We have to change this misconception. When studies these things I read about a woman who was raped and murdered by a coworker. This happened at the University of Illinois. The primary response from the college was to install better lighting. This does absolutely no good at all since this woman was attacked by someone known to her. Once again it can save some because yes women do still get raped by strangers but it doesn't address the overall problem.
Even the news media can be a problem with the misconception not on purpose of course but it happens. Here is the problem with that. There are so many rapes that take place in large cities in a given day that they can't report them all in a 30 minute newscast. So the only ones that tend to make the cut are the particularly violent ones that fit the stereotype thereby passing the misconception onto the public without realizing it.
People believe what they want to believe. They want to believe people they trust aren't capable of this stuff. They want to believe this only happens to other people or people that engage in certain behaviors.None of this is true it can happen to anyone anywhere even in your home home by people you trust. The truth is 1 out of every 6 women will be raped in their lifetime. For that matter 1 out of every 33 men will be raped. Statistics can be higher in certain populations. Now this is very shocking but here are the actual statistics
36% of all women in the US Navy are raped
34% of all Native American women are raped
27% of all girls in college are raped
That's pretty jacked up and some of you are probably saying where is he getting all this info and how do I know it's real numbers. The numbers are real I'll cover the source at the end of the article. For now let's get back on track.
Let's look at the next issue. How often is a weapon used in rape cases? How often is physical violence used?
That can differ a little based on if it's a stranger or not. Get ready for the bullet points.
Percent of Weapon Use: Non Stranger 3% Stranger 16%
Choking and Beating: Non Stranger 7% Stranger 16%
Hitting or Slapping : Non Stranger 13% Stranger 28%
Twisting and Holding: Non Stranger 68% Stranger 72%
Threatening: Non Stranger 33% Stranger 54%
As you can see actual violence during a rape is very low percentage. The reason I point this out is because of the 2 statements at the beginning of the article. Just to refresh your memory I'll post the first one
Where a vigorous woman alleges ravishment it is to be expected that
signs of violence such as wounds, bruises and scratches will be present
and their absence should induce a moderate degree of skepticism unless
the girl avers that she fainted from fear, became panic stricken or was
otherwise rendered incapable of physical resistance. The acts and
demeanor of the female immediately after the alleged commission should
be subjected to very critical investigation in these cases.
The second one is even worse scroll up and read that one. So you see most of the time weapons aren't used. Choking,beating, hitting, and slapping is in the minority as well. Threatening doesn't leave marks. Twisting and holding may or may not leave a bruise. The 2 statements law enforcement uses to judge rape are false. Society also shares this same view and we've shown you several reasons why. Do beatings happen? Of course they do. Are weapons used? Yeah sometimes they are used. Our point is the absence of these things shouldn't cause skepticism when a woman says she's raped because that absence is actually the norm. Our view of rape needs to change in this society. For God sakes at Fort Collins Police Department in Colorado in 1998 100% of all rapes reported when the attacker was known to the victim a weapon was NEVER used. That's right for an entire calendar in reported cases it didn't happen. That is very important info. So why don't these women fight back? Well here are some reasons
:
The rape is committed by someone the victim knows (rather than a stranger)
The perpetrator does not use physical force or violence to commit the rape
The victim is concerned about preserving the relationship with the offender
The victim is concerned about the offender’s judgment/opinions
The victim has been sexually assaulted in the past
How do they resist when they do resist?
11.2% Run
11.2% Scream
45.7% Cry
69.6% Struggle
76.6% Turn Cold
83.3% Reason and Plead
You see the picture start to take shape and only 1 of those could possibly leave signs of injury thereby ripping the original statements apart which is the point of the article. I also want to add that 1/3 to 2/3 of all rape involve alcohol or some other drug.There is a huge double standard with that in our society. When guys drink society expects them to be out of control but if women do it they are considered slutty. That just ain't right. Our entire culture is geared the wrong way.When it comes to sex men are seen as the aggressors and the women the gatekeepers. These men believe women are supposed to say no at first but not because they mean it. They just say it because it's expected and they are supposed to push to "see how far they can get."
They get to see it as a game of cat and mouse. This is also seriously messed up. This doesn't mean all men are rapists of course but it gives way to a culture that perceives aggressive men as normal which compounds the problem..
Do victims usually report the rape immediately?
Since we talked about sources earlier the 2 main sources for this article were the National Violence Against Women Survey and the National Women's Survey. Within a few points they all converge on these statistics and this next one is no different. Only 16 to 19% of women who are raped reported it at all. Out of that percentage less that 25% of that number reported it immediately. That means less than 5% of all women who are raped report it immediately. Remember that number because I'm building to something.There is also a misconception that the rapist will be a minority and I want you to know that most rapes are intraracial. That means they rape within their own ethnic groups. If your a white girl your more likely to be raped by a white guy just so you know. Getting back to why women don't report rape let's look at it:
22% cited fear of the perpetrator as the reason for not reporting
18% stated that they were too ashamed or embarrassed
18% felt that the incident was minor, and not a crime or a police matter
13% believed that the law enforcement agency could not do anything
12% were concerned that officers would not believe or blame them
That really sucks because the fact is that men who rape and get away with it are more likely to do it again. Dr. Davis Lisak and Dr. Paul Miller surveyed 1,882 men with an average age of 28 who attended college part time(the college wasn't named). Of these 1,882 men 120 of them had committed 483 sexual assaults of women they knew. none of those assaults were ever reported.
There is a real disconnect between what society believes is "legitimate" rape and the truth. If the policy we showed you at the very beginning of the article continues to be believed then many more women will be raped and many more rapists will continue raping with impunity. When crap like that is believed then rape victims do not get believed when they come forward and arrests are not made and rapes continue when they could have been stopped. That untrue statement is very damaging in many ways. I want to give you a scenario.
A woman has been raped by a neighbor she's friends with and has known awhile. Police come to the scene and interview her and they follow through and arrest the neighbor. Then they start to collect evidence.
They collect fingerprints, hair samples, fiber samples, semen, saliva, footprints, maybe tire marks and other things of the like. They can absolutely prove he was there and that a sexual act took place and they go to trial with it. So what happens? Well it's an easy not guilty verdict and the victim gets victimized again. The rapist walks free. Why?
Well you see since it's a given they knew each other already the identification of the suspect should not have been the primary issue. You see a good defense attorney will use the consent defense. It will be her word against his and she doesn't have any bruises, cuts or marks on her body, no clothes torn. She probably didn't call the police right after either. Remember those misconceptions that are prevalent? They will be prevalent in a jury too. So let's back up and try that again.
A woman has been raped by a neighbor she's friends with and has known
awhile. Police come to the scene and interview her and they follow
through and arrest the neighbor. Then they start to collect evidence.
They collect all the identification evidence mentioned in the previous scenario but this time they also:
Photographs of any genital and non genital injuries
Documented complaints of pain
Evidence of prior similar acts
Suspect statements made in a monitored phone call to victim
Any crime scene evidence that could support a struggle
Records of communication with dispatch
Interview with first person victim told of assault
Detailed information from the victim, describing thoughts and feelings during the sexual assault, as well as any sensory and peripheral details that can be recalled
Detailed information from others, to describe the victim’s behavior after the sexual assault, and contrast it with the victim’s typical behavior before the sexual assault
Any number of these can help beat a consent defense. On top of that a prosecutor having statistics like these to change jury perception of what is normal and what is abnormal their case will be stronger.
In closing this ignorance helps rapists and hopefully we've helped in some small way to help you understand just how much damage has been done to our society and even our justice system due to lack of understanding of the real issues. If you found this article informative I can tell you that it's just the tip of the iceberg. This info came from a course I took called What Does Rape Really Look Like that is offered by End The Violence Against Women International. There is much more info there than I can put in this article. You can look into those online courses at www.evawintl.org. We've got to work together to change this perception and make real help available. Thank you
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Ground Survival 101 Course
I decided to put together this course after seeing so many flawed ground programs being taught by so-called reality based instructors. As in most modern self defense courses they attempt to innovate in the wrong area and in alot of ways over think the problems. Now alot of these guys are my friends but the fact remains they still got it wrong. This course is a part of a more comprehensive called Stonewall Tactical Judo that we also teach. This one however focuses solely on ground survival.
Typically what I see are courses geared towards only protecting against the lowest common denominator of criminal. This is a huge mistake. Attacks are as random as people. You simply cannot predict exactly how someone can attack you or how they will react to your defense.Too many out there try to take shortcuts and try to tell you that you can just bite them or poke them in the eyes or twist their heads or something like that and complete ignore geometry. Now don't get me wrong I've seen these things work but I've also seen them fail miserably. Everything works sometimes and nothing works every time. The fact is as educators,warriors, or whatever term you would like to use our job is to give you the best ways of protecting yourself with the lowest possible amount of flaws for the highest rate of success and take every possibility into account. Now let's say someone is straddling you and punching down against your face and you buck your hips to make them post their hands on the ground. You reach up to grab their head and do the head twist. All they have to do is sit straight up and you can't reach their head. Then your laying there on your back with your arms stuck out and your head unprotected. That isn't going to end good for you. You can't bite them at that point either. If that was all you had your in alot of trouble and it can happen I've seen it many times. As a grappler myself with over 30 years experience on the mat I can tell you a little fact. The first thing a grappler with real experience will do when they put you on your back is completely immobilize your head and arms. Bye bye grabs, pokes, and biting and all the other things they tell you will work on anyone. Scary thought isn't it?
Well here is the deal with our program. By learning just a few body movements you can escape these positions easily and the escapes we teach WILL work on everyone not just the lowest common denominator attacker with little ability when you apply them correctly. Anyone can do these techniques, but we don't just stop with techniques.
You see that takes us into another issue which is improper training. Many seminars you will attend will show you an escape. Let's stick with the full mount example. Let's say you learned an escape in a class. So now you've reversed this bad position. Now what? Well in most classes you would move on to the next technique. Once again....that's a big mistake. Just because you rolled someone doesn't mean the altercation is over. How did you get into the situation? More importantly...how are you going to get out of it? What do you do if your getting out of one position and they switch to another one do you know what to do?
You see an attack is like a disease. When you deal with just a specific attack and move on such as some type of pin, or strike, or choke, or whatever you dealing with a symptom of the disease and not the disease itself. When your escape is facilitated that is the point your looking at something quick to end the threat. Remember what the law states. The law can differ slightly from state to state so check with your attorney general's office on the judicious use of force laws for your state but they tend to be similar to this: You can defend yourself against a person until they are no longer a threat. Basically in our context that means if you roll someone off of you and straddle them and continually bash their face in and they are defending then you've become the attacker. Then even if they attacked you then you can still go to jail for assault. I don't make up the laws I'm just telling you what they say. You can generally strike them but you can't just keep doing it over and over. We however can show you how to end the threat without ending up on someone's Iphone explaining yourself in court.
Just to review with this course we can show you a few simple body movements that will get you out of these bad positions against attackers of varying skill levels not just the ones that don't know anything. We teach you how to deal with attacks as they change and you learn how to string things together to become more proactive in your defense. We can also show you how to do it within your states use of force policies. The best part is we can do it in 2 days. If you want a real solution to the problems we've presented then contact us on the Contact Us page.
Typically what I see are courses geared towards only protecting against the lowest common denominator of criminal. This is a huge mistake. Attacks are as random as people. You simply cannot predict exactly how someone can attack you or how they will react to your defense.Too many out there try to take shortcuts and try to tell you that you can just bite them or poke them in the eyes or twist their heads or something like that and complete ignore geometry. Now don't get me wrong I've seen these things work but I've also seen them fail miserably. Everything works sometimes and nothing works every time. The fact is as educators,warriors, or whatever term you would like to use our job is to give you the best ways of protecting yourself with the lowest possible amount of flaws for the highest rate of success and take every possibility into account. Now let's say someone is straddling you and punching down against your face and you buck your hips to make them post their hands on the ground. You reach up to grab their head and do the head twist. All they have to do is sit straight up and you can't reach their head. Then your laying there on your back with your arms stuck out and your head unprotected. That isn't going to end good for you. You can't bite them at that point either. If that was all you had your in alot of trouble and it can happen I've seen it many times. As a grappler myself with over 30 years experience on the mat I can tell you a little fact. The first thing a grappler with real experience will do when they put you on your back is completely immobilize your head and arms. Bye bye grabs, pokes, and biting and all the other things they tell you will work on anyone. Scary thought isn't it?
Well here is the deal with our program. By learning just a few body movements you can escape these positions easily and the escapes we teach WILL work on everyone not just the lowest common denominator attacker with little ability when you apply them correctly. Anyone can do these techniques, but we don't just stop with techniques.
You see that takes us into another issue which is improper training. Many seminars you will attend will show you an escape. Let's stick with the full mount example. Let's say you learned an escape in a class. So now you've reversed this bad position. Now what? Well in most classes you would move on to the next technique. Once again....that's a big mistake. Just because you rolled someone doesn't mean the altercation is over. How did you get into the situation? More importantly...how are you going to get out of it? What do you do if your getting out of one position and they switch to another one do you know what to do?
You see an attack is like a disease. When you deal with just a specific attack and move on such as some type of pin, or strike, or choke, or whatever you dealing with a symptom of the disease and not the disease itself. When your escape is facilitated that is the point your looking at something quick to end the threat. Remember what the law states. The law can differ slightly from state to state so check with your attorney general's office on the judicious use of force laws for your state but they tend to be similar to this: You can defend yourself against a person until they are no longer a threat. Basically in our context that means if you roll someone off of you and straddle them and continually bash their face in and they are defending then you've become the attacker. Then even if they attacked you then you can still go to jail for assault. I don't make up the laws I'm just telling you what they say. You can generally strike them but you can't just keep doing it over and over. We however can show you how to end the threat without ending up on someone's Iphone explaining yourself in court.
Just to review with this course we can show you a few simple body movements that will get you out of these bad positions against attackers of varying skill levels not just the ones that don't know anything. We teach you how to deal with attacks as they change and you learn how to string things together to become more proactive in your defense. We can also show you how to do it within your states use of force policies. The best part is we can do it in 2 days. If you want a real solution to the problems we've presented then contact us on the Contact Us page.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Stonewall Tactical Judo
First and foremost Stonewall Tactical Judo is a modern day fighting
system. It isn't so much based on classical judo as it is based on
American Combat Judo from 1944. Though based on Jujutsu it includes more
modern and scientific developments in self defense as well as learning
strategies. It also draws from other systems such as Catch As Catch Can
Wrestling, Boxing, Muay Thai, and other modern systems from all over the
world.
So why call it Judo instead of Combatives or something else? Well frankly with all the saturation and marketing behind it as well as the so-called reality based self defense movement the term "combatives" has lost it's meaning for me. What people are actually teaching today is more like combat martial arts. Combat martial arts basically means your doing the same old mcdojo tactics but your more aggressive with it. People are just taking whatever they do and slapping the word combatives on the end of it for marketing, it just doesn't mean anything anymore. The simple fact is that if you look at the upper level kata of Judo you will find disabling blows,knife defenses, stick defenses, and gun defenses. Does that sound familiar to you? Yep it's everything they teach in modern self defense today. By the way I didn't just pluck the word judo out of nowhere. I have a 4th dan in Judo and a 6th Dan in Jujutsu as well as a Professorship( Kyoshi Sho). I also have a 5th Dan in Ninjutsu but hey let's stay on point. Now we don't use the same weapon defenses they teach in Judo I'd like to think we are a little more evolved I'm just saying the blueprint was always there. Actually, W.E. Fairbairn was a Judo exponent as were most of the original "combatives" guys.
If you've looked at the rest of the site you will notice I teach police departments all over the country and we are going international soon. This system uses the same teaching methodologies as I employ when teach defensive tactics to police. If you read the testimonials over on the S.T.A.R. Method page you will see this teaching method works wonders for these officers. Taking these ideas and applying them to martial arts will get you much better and much faster than you will see in other so- called combatives or reality based systems. I've always disliked the term reality based self defense because it is subjective and situational. We start you out learning verbal de-escalation then managing awareness and avoidance. You can't be attacked if you aren't there. Then we teach you basic self defense. You will be able to reasonably be able to defense yourself after just a few classes. Not a couple years like other systems. Once you have a firm foundation then we can add other things. Want to see us in action? if your in the North Alabama area contact us through the contact us link about a private class. Outside that area you can contact me through the same link about hosting a seminar at your school. You will definitely notice a huge difference in quality. Let us show you that difference.
So why call it Judo instead of Combatives or something else? Well frankly with all the saturation and marketing behind it as well as the so-called reality based self defense movement the term "combatives" has lost it's meaning for me. What people are actually teaching today is more like combat martial arts. Combat martial arts basically means your doing the same old mcdojo tactics but your more aggressive with it. People are just taking whatever they do and slapping the word combatives on the end of it for marketing, it just doesn't mean anything anymore. The simple fact is that if you look at the upper level kata of Judo you will find disabling blows,knife defenses, stick defenses, and gun defenses. Does that sound familiar to you? Yep it's everything they teach in modern self defense today. By the way I didn't just pluck the word judo out of nowhere. I have a 4th dan in Judo and a 6th Dan in Jujutsu as well as a Professorship( Kyoshi Sho). I also have a 5th Dan in Ninjutsu but hey let's stay on point. Now we don't use the same weapon defenses they teach in Judo I'd like to think we are a little more evolved I'm just saying the blueprint was always there. Actually, W.E. Fairbairn was a Judo exponent as were most of the original "combatives" guys.
If you've looked at the rest of the site you will notice I teach police departments all over the country and we are going international soon. This system uses the same teaching methodologies as I employ when teach defensive tactics to police. If you read the testimonials over on the S.T.A.R. Method page you will see this teaching method works wonders for these officers. Taking these ideas and applying them to martial arts will get you much better and much faster than you will see in other so- called combatives or reality based systems. I've always disliked the term reality based self defense because it is subjective and situational. We start you out learning verbal de-escalation then managing awareness and avoidance. You can't be attacked if you aren't there. Then we teach you basic self defense. You will be able to reasonably be able to defense yourself after just a few classes. Not a couple years like other systems. Once you have a firm foundation then we can add other things. Want to see us in action? if your in the North Alabama area contact us through the contact us link about a private class. Outside that area you can contact me through the same link about hosting a seminar at your school. You will definitely notice a huge difference in quality. Let us show you that difference.
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Falling and the Fallen
It's 4:31 in the morning and I can't sleep.I'm angry I'm just really angry. I'm not sure how this article is going to go but I just know I have to write it. It could go into a million different directions or none at all. I'm so angry I'm on auto pilot. As alot of people have I've been following this Amanda Todd story. A 15 year old girl being bullied into committing suicide. There is no excuse for that there never was at all. I remember when I was 15 and being bullied myself. I wanted to commit suicide. I had to be on medication for a couple years. You see this isn't new it's the same old shit that's always been. With the same old lame ignorant excuses. I've paced the floors this morning and even came close to crying a little because I look at the society we've built and find it disgusting. I think everyone is bullied at one time or another. It surprises people when I tell them I was bullied but it's true. Since then of course I became a martial arts champion, worked as a bouncer and bodyguard for many years, and now I teach police hand to hand combat for a living. But hey we are our own creation and we all started somewhere. I was bullied for simply being a freshman on the football team. I had my food tampered with and poisoned. My tires slit on my car. Several once tried to hold me down and sodomize me with the armrest off a pair of crutches. One of the other players was injured and they actually took his crutches away from him to remove it. For no other reason than they could. They couldn't hold me down thank DNA I'm a pretty big guy and strong as an ox but they sure as hell tried it. This was back in 1988 I believe. The teachers all knew it was going on and did nothing. They like the other students considered it a rite of passage. Schools have always supported bullying that isn't new. Schools support bullying now more than ever. They support it by using a strict no tolerance policy on fighting. In other words if you give a bully what they deserve your going to be kicked out of school. So bullies use that for leverage. Kids have to take that abuse because if they fight back then they are going to be expelled and bullies know it. There is no stand your ground policy against bullying like there should be. If they just tell a teacher they get beat up worse. It gets worse if parents get involved. That is the reality of it. All the teachers will do is have the parents talk to them which is meaningless. There is currently no real punishment for bullying. There is no real deterrent as long as the bullies are slick.
People are so self absorbed these days they aren't going to act on anything unless they are afraid of losing something. People claim they work too much these days and don't have the time to watch their kids. Really? If the parents could be arrested and put in jail for things their children done I'm pretty sure they could find a little time to watch their children and be better parents and make sure their children are on the correct path to becoming good responsible people. If that bully lost something important to them and had to really pay for what they did they may not do it anymore. Fear isn't just a tool for them. Self absorbed adults are producing self absorbed children with no concept of reality, a false sense of entitlement, misplaced priorities, lack of personal responsibility and ethics. You see....we got soft. We got so progressive in our thinking that we out thought ourselves. We listened to and became a society that is nowhere near as smart as it believes. We are failing our most precious asset....our children. We are failing them by not guiding them, by not being there, by not paying attention, not setting boundaries, and not being real parents.
Years ago I remember when President Clinton was in office. He was considering making school uniforms mandatory for all public schools. The reasoning was that many children were being attacked and murdered for a certain brand sneakers and other trivial things. If everyone wore the same thing then they would have to be judged on their merits as a person and not what they wore. I thought it was a great forward thinking idea. I think to some degree that it would have worked. Not completely of course but I think it would've curbed alot of things. The hell that was raised over it was immense. Even though it was just an idea the parents decided the government was going to try to force them to pay for the uniforms. Which no one really knows if that's true one way or another because it never made it to that stage as far as i know but they used that as an excuse and raised hell anyway. The kids railed against it because it supposedly kept them from expressing themselves and all that stuff. It ended up not happening because the kids didn't like it and MTV buckled to the kids and it went downhill from there. It was the lamest excuse I ever heard. Forget the other 16 hours in the damn day. They said it would keep them from expressing who they are. Well first of all your kids so you don't even know who you are yet. Most adults don't know who they are either and if they did they would be horrified. If you don't know who you are then you can't really express it so shut up. The purpose of school is for learning not expressing yourself or socializing. In North America our schools produce some of the dumbest people on earth and they are worried about expression. Asia is destroying us in math and science because our priorities are completely out of order. Your worried about expression? What are you trying to express?...That your a moron that doesn't know what really matters? That your parents don't know how to instill the correct values in you? If that's the case then good job message received.
What happened to Amanda Todd should never happen to any child.She should've been able to go to school and feel safe. When she made mistakes she should've been able to talk to an adult. When she got suckered by a pedophile on webcam where was the investigation then? When someone posted child porn on facebook where were the arrests? She had to move three times so obviously some adults knew about it. Where was the staff at the school when kids from another school came onto school property and assaulted her. There was no teacher around what the hell? We may never know these things. What really bothers me is some of the responses I see from trolls about her death.If this girl's death doesn't rip your heart out then you aren't a real person your just scum. Some of the things I've seen should never be uttered by an adult in reference to a child. To me even worse are the ever pretentious armchair activists.These are the ones that say things like," well your posting all the stuff about this girl that flashed a guy and had sex at 13 but what about the starving kids in Africa." Well here is thing thing with that. You can actually feel bad for both asshole. People that say things like that don't care about children in Africa they do it to attempt to sound intelligent. They fail miserably. They are the people that talk yet do nothing. They are the bystanders... the ones who say someone should have helped but never think of helping themselves then explode with faux outrage when something happens. I have no use for these people.
Now I'm about to say something and bring this to a close. Whenever I say you in these statement I'm including myself as well since I'm a part of this society. There's alot of things wrong with this society but we can fix this one we can fix bullying. We can fix it by modifying existing laws and creating new ones for more accountability. We can give this society a dose of reality and we can hold ourselves accountable for our failings. We can take more time with our children and instill proper values. We need stricter laws for when these values are not upheld. People need to know they will truly pay for what they've done our children must be protected.
Each and everyone of us should mourn the loss of Amanda Todd and every child that suffers the same fate. We should do it because as a society we killed them. We failed to protect her. We built a society that allowed a pedophile( I'm assuming it was an adult or at least a much older kid) to have access to a 13 year old girl and extort her. We built a society that through our tax money helps pay the staff that wasn't around when she was beaten at her school and they still have a job. We built a society that covets things and not people. We built a society that allows television to dictate reality. We built a society that allows our children to be sexualized, We built a society that robs children of their childhood. We built a society that doesn't guide it's children and show them the right path because we are on the wrong path, We built a self centered society that allowed Amanda Todd to be abused and bullied to the point she took her own life to escape from it. Don't just sit around talking about how sad this is or how it's a tragedy. Instead look in the mirror and make a change. We can do better and we've got to do better we have too much at stake.
Finally to Amanda Todd though you aren't here anymore I have some words anyway. I'm so sorry we failed you. As a society we should have been there for you and we failed. We didn't keep the bad people away. We didn't have our priorities right. From the bottom of my heart I feel society owes you an apology and I intend for you to have it. Though you aren't here understand that you are everywhere. I know this tragedy has touched many I only wish you could have known how much you mattered.Though cells may die energy is forever and now you are a part of us all. In a safe place where no one can hurt you anymore.
R.I.P. Amanda Todd
People are so self absorbed these days they aren't going to act on anything unless they are afraid of losing something. People claim they work too much these days and don't have the time to watch their kids. Really? If the parents could be arrested and put in jail for things their children done I'm pretty sure they could find a little time to watch their children and be better parents and make sure their children are on the correct path to becoming good responsible people. If that bully lost something important to them and had to really pay for what they did they may not do it anymore. Fear isn't just a tool for them. Self absorbed adults are producing self absorbed children with no concept of reality, a false sense of entitlement, misplaced priorities, lack of personal responsibility and ethics. You see....we got soft. We got so progressive in our thinking that we out thought ourselves. We listened to and became a society that is nowhere near as smart as it believes. We are failing our most precious asset....our children. We are failing them by not guiding them, by not being there, by not paying attention, not setting boundaries, and not being real parents.
Years ago I remember when President Clinton was in office. He was considering making school uniforms mandatory for all public schools. The reasoning was that many children were being attacked and murdered for a certain brand sneakers and other trivial things. If everyone wore the same thing then they would have to be judged on their merits as a person and not what they wore. I thought it was a great forward thinking idea. I think to some degree that it would have worked. Not completely of course but I think it would've curbed alot of things. The hell that was raised over it was immense. Even though it was just an idea the parents decided the government was going to try to force them to pay for the uniforms. Which no one really knows if that's true one way or another because it never made it to that stage as far as i know but they used that as an excuse and raised hell anyway. The kids railed against it because it supposedly kept them from expressing themselves and all that stuff. It ended up not happening because the kids didn't like it and MTV buckled to the kids and it went downhill from there. It was the lamest excuse I ever heard. Forget the other 16 hours in the damn day. They said it would keep them from expressing who they are. Well first of all your kids so you don't even know who you are yet. Most adults don't know who they are either and if they did they would be horrified. If you don't know who you are then you can't really express it so shut up. The purpose of school is for learning not expressing yourself or socializing. In North America our schools produce some of the dumbest people on earth and they are worried about expression. Asia is destroying us in math and science because our priorities are completely out of order. Your worried about expression? What are you trying to express?...That your a moron that doesn't know what really matters? That your parents don't know how to instill the correct values in you? If that's the case then good job message received.
What happened to Amanda Todd should never happen to any child.She should've been able to go to school and feel safe. When she made mistakes she should've been able to talk to an adult. When she got suckered by a pedophile on webcam where was the investigation then? When someone posted child porn on facebook where were the arrests? She had to move three times so obviously some adults knew about it. Where was the staff at the school when kids from another school came onto school property and assaulted her. There was no teacher around what the hell? We may never know these things. What really bothers me is some of the responses I see from trolls about her death.If this girl's death doesn't rip your heart out then you aren't a real person your just scum. Some of the things I've seen should never be uttered by an adult in reference to a child. To me even worse are the ever pretentious armchair activists.These are the ones that say things like," well your posting all the stuff about this girl that flashed a guy and had sex at 13 but what about the starving kids in Africa." Well here is thing thing with that. You can actually feel bad for both asshole. People that say things like that don't care about children in Africa they do it to attempt to sound intelligent. They fail miserably. They are the people that talk yet do nothing. They are the bystanders... the ones who say someone should have helped but never think of helping themselves then explode with faux outrage when something happens. I have no use for these people.
Now I'm about to say something and bring this to a close. Whenever I say you in these statement I'm including myself as well since I'm a part of this society. There's alot of things wrong with this society but we can fix this one we can fix bullying. We can fix it by modifying existing laws and creating new ones for more accountability. We can give this society a dose of reality and we can hold ourselves accountable for our failings. We can take more time with our children and instill proper values. We need stricter laws for when these values are not upheld. People need to know they will truly pay for what they've done our children must be protected.
Each and everyone of us should mourn the loss of Amanda Todd and every child that suffers the same fate. We should do it because as a society we killed them. We failed to protect her. We built a society that allowed a pedophile( I'm assuming it was an adult or at least a much older kid) to have access to a 13 year old girl and extort her. We built a society that through our tax money helps pay the staff that wasn't around when she was beaten at her school and they still have a job. We built a society that covets things and not people. We built a society that allows television to dictate reality. We built a society that allows our children to be sexualized, We built a society that robs children of their childhood. We built a society that doesn't guide it's children and show them the right path because we are on the wrong path, We built a self centered society that allowed Amanda Todd to be abused and bullied to the point she took her own life to escape from it. Don't just sit around talking about how sad this is or how it's a tragedy. Instead look in the mirror and make a change. We can do better and we've got to do better we have too much at stake.
Finally to Amanda Todd though you aren't here anymore I have some words anyway. I'm so sorry we failed you. As a society we should have been there for you and we failed. We didn't keep the bad people away. We didn't have our priorities right. From the bottom of my heart I feel society owes you an apology and I intend for you to have it. Though you aren't here understand that you are everywhere. I know this tragedy has touched many I only wish you could have known how much you mattered.Though cells may die energy is forever and now you are a part of us all. In a safe place where no one can hurt you anymore.
R.I.P. Amanda Todd
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Knife Defense:Truth, Myth, and Propaganda
In this article we are going to use knife fighting as an example. However we will also be delving into an underlying problem in martial arts and self defense today. That problem being highly respected instructors with specific agendas and motives that lead to them saying some pretty dumb and irresponsible things. I'm gonna bounce around a little bit in this article because frankly, that's how I roll. Now take a look at the short video above. It is making the rounds on youtube and facebook usually with a heading somewhere in the neighborhood of This Is What a Real Knife Attack Looks Like. Now first things first...do knife attacks happen like this? The answer is yes. The knife ambush is the most common knife attack for sure. How common is it? That is highly debatable. I will also say that in my research an ambush tends to be much closer than this and much more stealth is used. You never see the knife. The only time I have seen anyone actually charge this way with a knife is in law enforcement when someone is rushing in to beat a gun draw. Either that or what's known as suicide by cop. So that specific attack I don't really know to be that common compared to other attacks but ambush is in fact the most common and this type of attack does definitely happen alot on real knife attacks.
That however isn't my real point here. What I really want to talk about is why a video like this would be posted. The answer is money and prestige, not your well being. Usually videos like this are posted by "reality based" martial arts clubs to disparage other clubs. The speech used is very important. You see the word "Real" is being used as a way of implying a knife course that may teach a different facet of knife fighting is fake. It's a sneaky way of saying without saying," You gotta take my super commando knife course because it is the only one that can save you. Everyone else is bullshit except me and will get you killed. You must write me a huge check and sign a long term contract if you want to save your life." That is pretty much the subconscious behind the verbiage. So is what they are really saying true? Well let's just look and see. Now the above clip is a staged demo by martial artists. Now let's look at real knife fights caught on camera where someone got cut and injured for real and see if that holds up.
Now this gets into another myth of knife fighting,"The Myth of the Duel." You see knife dueling is made up that never actually happens. Oops! That above video appears to be a duel. I guess it can happen. Oh well another thing I was told that isn't true either. Did the sarcasm choke you up? Do duels happen all the time? Ummm no. People that bash knife sparring though need to get a grip. I'd rather train for something and not need it than need it and not have it. If it happens you need to train for it and apparently it DOES happen. Now most likely the guy didn't charge in because the other guy had a knife. However in the very top video if your standing there facing a guy running towards you and you have a knife you could probably use some lateral movement on run like hell and pull out a knife of your own instead of standing there holding a coat like a matador. Needless to say if you can get away you should do so and not stop to engage in a knife fight.
I will say this. I seriously enjoyed watching the above video. The people in that office did damn near everything right. I want to point out when those guys first came into that office they didn't charge people like a bull and start stabbing. What they did was more of a knife threat or display. Those office people were unarmed at first. In this case yes some of them had weapons but they didn't have them out until after the attack started. A knife threat or display is very common and even more common than a knife attack. The knife is used as a tool of intimidation. Sometimes they aren't planning on using the knife but I will tell you this. If they pulled it you better assume they intend to use it even if they don't. I want to point out some things the people in the office did right.
The first thing they did right was attack the attacker. If the guy in the very top video had thrown his coat at the guy he maybe could've bought a half second to use some type of evasive footwork or even better picked something up and hit him with it. Towards the beginning of the video right after the fight started you had it right there where a guy was unarmed throwing punches at a guy with a knife. You think he cared if he got cut? When your dealing with mafia like in this video they will probably kill you anyway. That brings me to another beef and myth. I saw another well respected guy talking about awareness and avoidance make a dumb statement. There is a certain sect in the knife fighting community that focuses on cutting certain parts of the body to remove functions such as cutting into tissue to disable an arm and such. Now anatomically that is possible but with the legal system the fact is if your in a situation where you half the time to do that then it probably wasn't a situation where you needed a knife in the first place therefore your probably going to be going to jail. For that reason alone that theory is pretty useless. However this guy makes this statement in this article. Remember if you get touched with the knife your going to bleed out and die. Really dude? Now I understand the goal behind the statement. You should avoid violence at all costs and I agree with that. You shouldn't stay and knife fight when you have the ability to leave. I agree with that too. However don't lie and say some bullshit that isn't right to accomplish your goal. If you can't do it with the truth then move onto something else. I have been in 4 knife fights in my life and I didn't have a knife in any of them I was unarmed. I have been cut twice and one required stitches. I've got a shocker for you...I'm not dead. I didn't bleed out because I was "touched" with the knife. I know a guy in Kansas that has over 100 knife wounds. He isn't dead either. So I'm pretty sure that statement is bullshit. However I'm sure you scared some people into your class and made you some money though. On yeah in those 4 knife attacks I never got bull rushed either.
The above video is from a knife attack in Thailand. I just want to point out that guy got stabbed alot of times and oh yeah he didn't die and didn't bleed out.
Here is a whole collection of videos where people got stabbed or cut. None of them died and they all fought back. Even the guy who got his neck cut he didn't die either and he even helped the other guy who also got cut and didn't die. There were even attacks in there that were the real version of the very first video that was supposed to be real and none of them died either and were able to escape and fight back. To make a statement like that is dumb and irresponsible because once your in that situation it doesn't really matter. Yes you can obviously die from knife woulds and many have done so. Still you gotta fight to save your life if it comes down to it. If someone is cut in a knife attack what the hell do you think they should do? Stop fighting and just fall over and wait to die? Hell no you fight back. It's a pointless dumb self serving statement. yes awareness and avoidance is better but don't bullshit people to get the result you want. In an aggressive knife attack attacking the attacker can be a very good strategy when you can't get away and it may even save your life.
Some other things those office people did in the mafia attack video was they created barriers with the furniture. They threw things to diminish the attackers which is very important. In a violent knife attack the more you can diminish your attacker the higher your chances of survival become. Which is all the more reason when cornered to attack the attacker. You might get cut or you might not. Even if you do get cut it doesn't mean you are going to die. You might but you might die if you don't do anything as well.
So now you've got some ideas on surviving a knife attack. These ideas are coming from watching actual people actually survive real knife attacks. As far as our first video at the top it has some value as far as making the point knife attacks aren't easy. They are harder than some say and easier than others say because some act like it's impossible to survive one.That video has some basis in truth but some of it isn't. So what happens in a real knife fight? The answer is..everything. Train for ambushes, train for duels, train for closed areas, train for open areas, train for crowds. It's all possible and it can all happen. Anyone claiming only certain kinds of knife fights happen probably have something they want to sell you. Question all of them and do your own research before buying into someone's system. Which system is best? There's good and bad in all systems once again, don't be lazy do your own research and make an educated decision. What if some big name guy said it was good. Well....fuck them guys! Do your own research and use common sense.
Let me tell you about big name guys. They say dumb stuff all the time. Hell it was a big name guy that made the statement," If they touch you with that knife you'll bleed out and die." He was one of the biggest. Another one once said he'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6. So why is that ignorant? Well it implies you have to choose between the two which is extremely rare. If someone threatens you is it always kill them before they kill you? No...you could just leave. If you can't leave well then now you have something different like what we have seen in this article but this article is about something extreme not the normal self defense situations. I saw one say one time."Jujutsu doesn't work against knife attacks you can't capture the arm." Well maybe he can't but I did it 4 times out of 4 times when attacked with a knife as a bodyguard and bouncer. Jujutsu was actually invented for disarms that's the whole reason it exists. Now you must diminish the attacker first but you can get that arm people have been doing it for thousands of years. I could go on and on all day about things these people say that isn't true.
In closing, a good system is a good system and a bad system is a bad system. Anything can happen in knife fights. Train for awareness and avoidance. I even wrote an article about it on this blog. train for duels if you have a knife. Train for ambushes. Train for everything we talked about. research these subjects and make common sense decisions. Don't believe everything everyone tells you even research this article to make sure I'm right. Don't believe every video you see on youtube or facebook. You take control of your own self defense and do the research. You get control of your self defense you get control of your life.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Do You Really NEED More Tools For Your Toolbox?
How many times have you heard the phrase it's always good to get more tools for your toolbox? Honestly in martial arts I hear it all the time but is it actually true? Well the honest answer is it depends. Before I get into all this I want to talk to you about context first. If your getting into martial arts to study a martial art then more tools doesn't hurt. Some people are basically technique collectors and that's what they like to do. If that's what you like to do then more power to you I hope you find a bunch of stuff. I'm also not talking about groups of arts. For the purposes of this article and historical fact unarmed fighting is it's own art. Knife fighting is it's own separate art. The same will hold true for sword fighting and the like as well. For the purposes of this article we will be focusing on this phrase applied to a single art. So to get to the point quickly do you need to always be adding more tools to your toolbox? The correct answer is an emphatic no! You simply need the right tools for that box.
Let's look at a little science here. In another article we talked about Occam's Razor, also known as the Law of Economy. When it's correctly translated it means when two answers solve a problem a third one is irrelevant. Try taking that and applying it to martial arts. Your gonna piss off alot of people, as I'm probably about to do. Have you ever been in a class where you had to learn 5 or 6 escapes for something and it was obvious some of them would never work for you but they made you learn it anyway for a belt rank? That doesn't make alot of sense does it? Wouldn't it be better to learn a concept that everyone could apply that worked for all? If so then why are you forced to learn a bunch of crap? Well the most common answer you'll get is that it's tradition and it's always been done that way. But is that even true? The answer is no.
Let's look at the Toda samurai family in the 17th century. How many techniques did their low level soldiers learn for combat as far as unarmed self defense? A hundred? A thousand? Try 8...yeah that's right 8. They were taught 3 strikes,1 throw,2 armbars, and 2 wristlocks. They would also learn a short kata that taught body mechanics but that was it. They won alot of battles too because they could take 8 techniques and modify them for any situation they would find themselves in. They would master those 8 techniques and could adapt under pressure easily because they weren't trying to pick between a hundred techniques and figure out what in the hell they needed to do.
On top of that look at all the old Karate masters. They didn't learn a bunch of kata they spent their whole lives dedicated to one kata because it gave them everything they needed to defend themselves. So was it always done that way? Umm no sorry that argument isn't true or valid in any way. You see in the modern age alot of traditional systems put all this stuff in there to preserve their history and culture and there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever. The thing is they were very honest about it and respectable. It's the western world that has gotten it so twisted around. It had nothing to do with teaching you an ounce of self defense.
Does that mean these guys that teach all this stuff can't fight? No it doesn't mean that at all some can and some can't. What it means is that if your going to them for self defense your learning in a way that is inefficient and unnecessary for your immediate goal. Sure if they are a good teacher in time you can get really good but what are you going to do until then? If you get attacked ask the guy to come back in a couple years when your skillset is better developed? Yeah I don't see that happening.
On a darker side of the issue you also have instructors that are only in this for the money. They are always adding techniques and requirements for you so you will have to stay there longer and pay them more money. They will tell you pretty much anything to keep you subservient. The most common trick these days is to get you to sign a huge long term contract and pay them alot of nonrefundable money up front. That way if you catch on and leave then they have your money and couldn't care less. There is alot of that but thankfully that isn't always the case. Martial arts are fun as they should be. More often than not(hopefully) what you actually have is someone confusing need with want. They want to do more things because it's fun and they enjoy it but want and need aren't actually the same thing now are they? Unfortunately even though they are well meaning they confuse their own want with what you need and this can get you hurt. I know instructors all over the world that teach 1 and 2 days courses where people can learn do defend themselves against basic attacks.
Ironically enough, if applied correctly courses like these could be of great benefit to "traditional" schools.
They can actually co-exist together. It only requires 1 thing...innovation. The first thing that needs to happen is a change in the curriculum. Take all the basics for the types of techniques you teach and put them all at beginner levels. Do stress drills early on and troubleshoot and work fail scenarios. Make everything flow together and have continuity. When that foundation is firm and the fundamentals are sound you can actually add things to it without damaging your students. Then you could actually add tools to your toolbox and they would know where every tool went and which tools didn't work for them. You gotta stop making them learn techniques they can never use on belt promotions. If it's useless they shouldn't have to learn it. There's nothing wrong with upgrading a curriculum and making it more efficient and conducive to learning. If your part of some money hungry organization that requires you and your students to learn things that aren't in their best interest then leave that organization. Your loyalty should always be to your students they are the ones that put faith in you. Your goal should be to strive to prove that you earned that faith. If your just teaching a bunch of stuff and you know some if it won't work for a student but you make them waste their time and yours learning it anyway then your unethical and immoral. As an educator you should always hold yourself to a higher standard or risk becoming a hypocrite as well as other things. I love martial arts and want them to always be relevant. When old outdated logic isn't thrown out then a martial art can become a museum piece and lose its relevance. I don't want to see that happen. If you don't want to update then I have some news for you. The public is getting smarter and your days are numbered. Your slowly turning into a dinosaur as we speak. People run from Dinosaurs not towards them because they are smart enough to know dinosaurs can hurt you. Your dinosaur logic can do the same to the very people your trying to help.
I've been around this a long time. Time is precious to me and I hate to see people waste it. I certainly don't want to bash anyone I would just like to ask you. Put your students first. You may not know the science behind the things you say or even know your doing something wrong. You could have the best of intentions. I would ask that you look at your curriculum and go to your libraries or even on the internet and research what you are doing. If you find something isn't right change it. Life is too short and your students deserve the best you can give them. So be the person that deserves the faith you receive. Don't confuse need and what. That's all I have to say.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
The Basics of Verbal De-escalation
So there I was trying to stop WWIII in the parking lot trying to protect some jerk that didn't really deserve it. I barely even knew the guy had just met him that night it was Halloween. I was sitting at bar a little ways away from there when he and his girlfriend walked in. They were with this other guy that I actually knew fairly well. They were trying to talk me into going to this club that I hated but there would be alot of girls there. They offered to drive and all that and they eventually talked me into it. So we got to the club and everything went well we shut it down and were talking about getting a room at the hotel across the highway. I was right outside the door talking to a girl when I seen new friend number one(NFN1) talking to some guy he knew apparently. It didn't seem like anything stood out I was just kind of checking it with my peripheral vision because I heard something about somebody pulling a gun on someone's dad which was odd. Then I notice a third party come into that conversation and get a little too close to NFN1. His head is moving like a woodpecker or some kind of hen pecking at something and he looked at NFN1 and said," You pulled a gun on his dad? Man that's messed up" then was saying something inaudible so I turned quickly to intervene but not in time. The next thing I heard was the familiar clacking noise of a forearm hitting a jaw cleaning and third party man dropped like a ton of bricks and not moving on the sidewalk. First people rushed to check him then most turned on NFN1. Even worse NFN1 was talking smack to everyone pissing them off even more. I jumped in front of NFN1 with my arms out at my sides(like a hira no kamae posture for those in the know). Basically I was using my body to move him backwards towards the car and my arms to monitor his movements and keep him behind my without looking at him because I had to have my eyes on the crowd. The bouncer on duty wasn't helping he was acting like a punk because he was scared of the crowd. After I got NFN1 behind me to shut the hell up I started to use verbal de-escalation to keep the crowd from attacking giving time for the police to get there and make a report. In that example the crowd wasn't mad at me they were mad at someone else which helped but the only thing that saved a parking lot melee that night was verbal de-escalation. It is an incredible tool to have and NFN1 obviously didn't possess it so I had to do something myself. Had he possessed those skills my night would have been alot more stressful. The following are some simple basics for verbal de-escalation.
The first thing is knowing when you are being threatened. In all honesty you will feel it. If something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. We are sometimes taught in our lives to ignore our instincts but we have them for a reason. They are there to help protect us and you should listen to them. If you feel threatened then it's real to you therefore it's a threat.Verbal De-escalation isn't about self defense it's more about self protection. Self defense for our definition is when you have to use physical force against an imminent attack. This is more about self protection which is not making the 10 mistakes you probably made before violence ensued. If you look at the example I gave up above and think," well I don't go to places like that or hang out with people like that so I don't need this stuff" then I think you need to rethink that. It comes in handy anywhere there could be a conflict:
A teacher disciplining a student
A parent with a problem child
A stewardess with an angry passenger
a manager with a disgruntled employee
That list could go on forever workplace violence is on the rise. Years ago before I was able to run Stonewall Tactical full time I worked as a team leader in a factory that made dvds to pay the bills and did private security on weekends. At the factory management was horrible and stress was at an all time high. When employees would get pushed to the edge I'd call them over and take them for a walk. I'd let them vent for a bit then use verbal de-escalation to calm them down so they basically didn't attack me and get fired. You never know some people or what they are capable of doing so it has to be taken seriously. I remember there was this one guy that flipped out a couple times and I'd have to walk him around the complex and calm him down. Other than that he was always smiling and making jokes a real jovial guy. He was the kind of guy you think wouldn't hurt a fly. A few months later after he left the company he brutally murdered his girlfriend and stuffed her body in his closet. He got caught when the neighbors complained about the smell he's currently still in prison. So this is a skill you should really take very seriously.
To me this is always better than physical force. Physical force should always be your last resort when everything else breaks down. You don't want to risk hurting someone or getting injured if you don't have to do so. Not to mention all the fallout that could ensue such as civil suits or angry friends. So let's take a look at some tactics. The first one is a big one
Listen - If you take a pissed off person and try to talk over them they are only going to become more angry. You aren't going to accomplish anything by being dismissive of someone else's feelings. You have to empathize and try putting yourself in their shoes. When I worked in that factory this was the main tactic that I used once they got it out of their system then it was much easier to calm them down.
Distraction - If they are hellbent on flipping out over something and focused then break that concentration just doing do it in a challenging way. I was used this tactic by asking about a guy's pit bull and getting him to talk about that. It's a way of establishing a rapport with them and establishing a commonality. Another time I offered a guy a beer. It's kind of hard to flip out on a guy that just gave you a beer. That's just a couple of examples but it's tactic that can work.
Humor - This is a great tool to put someone at ease but use it sparingly. I mean if your not funny normally your not going to become funny under stress. I once had two friends arguing and I stood up and farted. Cleared the whole room and they were so wrapped up in that they forgot about being mad. You could also say that's a distraction but trust me it was funny.
Empathy - I mentioned this once already but it's very important. How can you calm someone down when you don't even understand why they are angry? Put yourself in their shoes they aren't mad for nothing. This goes back to listening if you challenge them by basically invalidating why they are angry then you are not going to be successful. Don't be judgmental try to understand.
Motivation - If your a teacher try to refocus them on something positive and motivate them and help build them up. Angry emotions tend to come from someone who is hurt or feels disrespected in some way. You need to know this.
These are some good tactics to use and I've used most of them. If you really think about it all your really doing for the most part is not being an ass. Don't prejudge someone with the whole, "Oh good lord here they come with that same old crap again." People are the center of their universe. Maybe it's something else or maybe if your the focus of the crap find out why the same crap keeps happening. I can't stress this enough. Listen! Don't try to be domineering and order them or threaten them in some way. Don't make it a competition and start arguing put your ego aside. Getting into a power struggle isn't going to de-escalate anything. Definitely don't criticize someone who is always angry. Don't start name calling. and Don't try to invalidate their anger. These things are barriers that you put up and can make the situation much worse. I've seen it a million times, "You did this!"..."Oh well you did that other thing".... It just goes on and on and gets worse and worse. Don't put up those barriers.
Try using calming statements like:
I want to help you
What can I do to make this right
Tell me more so I can understand
I understand what your saying
Let's see what we can do to make it better
Note: Try to understand how they feel but don't actually say out loud to them the phrase - I understand how you feel. If they thought you could possibly understand how they felt there's a good chance they wouldn't be angry in the first place you don't want to open that can of worms)
These are a few of the statements that aren't challenging or insulting but I think you get where I'm coming from on that. Also make sure your being attentive. You need to actually be listening not just hearing. Don't be thinking about what your going to be doing next week or somewhere else you wish you were because people can tell when they are just being pacified. Make sure you use eye contact and neutral gestures such as nodding or asking neutral questions from time to time without interrupting them or stepping over what they are saying. You can do things like take something they are saying and repeating it back to them but wording it differently. This way they know your listening to them and trying to understand them. When your doing this don't be fiddling with a pen or playing a video game or watching television. Don't multi-task give them your full attention. Remember 80% of all communication is nonverbal so don't communicate the wrong message. People are more observant that you think and angry people don't always listen to what is being said so your body language could be doing the real talking so watch that message!
Here are a few body movements that send the wrong message as well as a few helpful hints:
Finger pointing can escalate something quickly so don't do it
Shoulder shrugging makes it look like you don't give a damn
Clenching your teeth makes it look like your mad and maybe you want to fight
A fake smile would honestly make me want to hit you more
Quick movements could surprise or scare someone making them feel threatened
Raising one eyebrow like can appear condescending or stern
Both eyebrows raised could spur them on so keep those eyebrows in check
A hard stare can appear threatening
Closing your eyes longer than normal will do the same as a shoulder shrug
Keep your hands visible
Don't invade their personal space and keep a distance from them far enough way they can't grab or kick you
Keeps your hands to yourself don't touch them that could really set them off
Don't raise or lower your voice talk slowly in a soothing nature
Don't do anything that is disrespectful
Another thing that helps is try to talk with them somewhere away from other people. Onlookers can try to instigate things and be real jerks. People love seeing others go at it especially in this say and age. If at all possible bring another trusted person to talk with them usually when two people are talking with someone there's less change of violence. Not always....but usually. Also the same tips listed for body language as far as staying neutral you should watch for those same cues in the other person as well.
In closing what it all boils down to is listening and actually giving a damn. Sincerity goes a long way. Don't be dismissive or try to insult someone's intelligence by pacifying them and thinking they won't notice. Listen...Listen...and Listen. These skills are not difficult to master and frankly alot of people do these things naturally and if you don't now you have some skills to work on. Be Safe!
The first thing is knowing when you are being threatened. In all honesty you will feel it. If something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. We are sometimes taught in our lives to ignore our instincts but we have them for a reason. They are there to help protect us and you should listen to them. If you feel threatened then it's real to you therefore it's a threat.Verbal De-escalation isn't about self defense it's more about self protection. Self defense for our definition is when you have to use physical force against an imminent attack. This is more about self protection which is not making the 10 mistakes you probably made before violence ensued. If you look at the example I gave up above and think," well I don't go to places like that or hang out with people like that so I don't need this stuff" then I think you need to rethink that. It comes in handy anywhere there could be a conflict:
A teacher disciplining a student
A parent with a problem child
A stewardess with an angry passenger
a manager with a disgruntled employee
That list could go on forever workplace violence is on the rise. Years ago before I was able to run Stonewall Tactical full time I worked as a team leader in a factory that made dvds to pay the bills and did private security on weekends. At the factory management was horrible and stress was at an all time high. When employees would get pushed to the edge I'd call them over and take them for a walk. I'd let them vent for a bit then use verbal de-escalation to calm them down so they basically didn't attack me and get fired. You never know some people or what they are capable of doing so it has to be taken seriously. I remember there was this one guy that flipped out a couple times and I'd have to walk him around the complex and calm him down. Other than that he was always smiling and making jokes a real jovial guy. He was the kind of guy you think wouldn't hurt a fly. A few months later after he left the company he brutally murdered his girlfriend and stuffed her body in his closet. He got caught when the neighbors complained about the smell he's currently still in prison. So this is a skill you should really take very seriously.
To me this is always better than physical force. Physical force should always be your last resort when everything else breaks down. You don't want to risk hurting someone or getting injured if you don't have to do so. Not to mention all the fallout that could ensue such as civil suits or angry friends. So let's take a look at some tactics. The first one is a big one
Listen - If you take a pissed off person and try to talk over them they are only going to become more angry. You aren't going to accomplish anything by being dismissive of someone else's feelings. You have to empathize and try putting yourself in their shoes. When I worked in that factory this was the main tactic that I used once they got it out of their system then it was much easier to calm them down.
Distraction - If they are hellbent on flipping out over something and focused then break that concentration just doing do it in a challenging way. I was used this tactic by asking about a guy's pit bull and getting him to talk about that. It's a way of establishing a rapport with them and establishing a commonality. Another time I offered a guy a beer. It's kind of hard to flip out on a guy that just gave you a beer. That's just a couple of examples but it's tactic that can work.
Humor - This is a great tool to put someone at ease but use it sparingly. I mean if your not funny normally your not going to become funny under stress. I once had two friends arguing and I stood up and farted. Cleared the whole room and they were so wrapped up in that they forgot about being mad. You could also say that's a distraction but trust me it was funny.
Empathy - I mentioned this once already but it's very important. How can you calm someone down when you don't even understand why they are angry? Put yourself in their shoes they aren't mad for nothing. This goes back to listening if you challenge them by basically invalidating why they are angry then you are not going to be successful. Don't be judgmental try to understand.
Motivation - If your a teacher try to refocus them on something positive and motivate them and help build them up. Angry emotions tend to come from someone who is hurt or feels disrespected in some way. You need to know this.
These are some good tactics to use and I've used most of them. If you really think about it all your really doing for the most part is not being an ass. Don't prejudge someone with the whole, "Oh good lord here they come with that same old crap again." People are the center of their universe. Maybe it's something else or maybe if your the focus of the crap find out why the same crap keeps happening. I can't stress this enough. Listen! Don't try to be domineering and order them or threaten them in some way. Don't make it a competition and start arguing put your ego aside. Getting into a power struggle isn't going to de-escalate anything. Definitely don't criticize someone who is always angry. Don't start name calling. and Don't try to invalidate their anger. These things are barriers that you put up and can make the situation much worse. I've seen it a million times, "You did this!"..."Oh well you did that other thing".... It just goes on and on and gets worse and worse. Don't put up those barriers.
Try using calming statements like:
I want to help you
What can I do to make this right
Tell me more so I can understand
I understand what your saying
Let's see what we can do to make it better
Note: Try to understand how they feel but don't actually say out loud to them the phrase - I understand how you feel. If they thought you could possibly understand how they felt there's a good chance they wouldn't be angry in the first place you don't want to open that can of worms)
These are a few of the statements that aren't challenging or insulting but I think you get where I'm coming from on that. Also make sure your being attentive. You need to actually be listening not just hearing. Don't be thinking about what your going to be doing next week or somewhere else you wish you were because people can tell when they are just being pacified. Make sure you use eye contact and neutral gestures such as nodding or asking neutral questions from time to time without interrupting them or stepping over what they are saying. You can do things like take something they are saying and repeating it back to them but wording it differently. This way they know your listening to them and trying to understand them. When your doing this don't be fiddling with a pen or playing a video game or watching television. Don't multi-task give them your full attention. Remember 80% of all communication is nonverbal so don't communicate the wrong message. People are more observant that you think and angry people don't always listen to what is being said so your body language could be doing the real talking so watch that message!
Here are a few body movements that send the wrong message as well as a few helpful hints:
Finger pointing can escalate something quickly so don't do it
Shoulder shrugging makes it look like you don't give a damn
Clenching your teeth makes it look like your mad and maybe you want to fight
A fake smile would honestly make me want to hit you more
Quick movements could surprise or scare someone making them feel threatened
Raising one eyebrow like can appear condescending or stern
Both eyebrows raised could spur them on so keep those eyebrows in check
A hard stare can appear threatening
Closing your eyes longer than normal will do the same as a shoulder shrug
Keep your hands visible
Don't invade their personal space and keep a distance from them far enough way they can't grab or kick you
Keeps your hands to yourself don't touch them that could really set them off
Don't raise or lower your voice talk slowly in a soothing nature
Don't do anything that is disrespectful
Another thing that helps is try to talk with them somewhere away from other people. Onlookers can try to instigate things and be real jerks. People love seeing others go at it especially in this say and age. If at all possible bring another trusted person to talk with them usually when two people are talking with someone there's less change of violence. Not always....but usually. Also the same tips listed for body language as far as staying neutral you should watch for those same cues in the other person as well.
In closing what it all boils down to is listening and actually giving a damn. Sincerity goes a long way. Don't be dismissive or try to insult someone's intelligence by pacifying them and thinking they won't notice. Listen...Listen...and Listen. These skills are not difficult to master and frankly alot of people do these things naturally and if you don't now you have some skills to work on. Be Safe!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Managing Awareness & Avoidance
As you are reading this I'm sure most of you have either attended a self defense seminar or taught one. We spend alot of time on techniques and how to bash the bad guy and so forth. We mention awareness and avoidance but do we emphasize it as much as we should? The fact is if your in a street fight you probably missed at least 10 things that got you there. No matter how big the next Super Datu Ninja Commando Killer Fighting System it still isn't as effective as plain old awareness and avoidance. No matter what the best way to survive any violent conflict is to never be in it.
However there are alot of well meaning and inadvertent fear-mongers out there that make this seem unmanageable and overwhelming when they cover it. It can be very confusing to someone new. They can make it sound like you need to be afraid every time you leave the house. This of course is wrong. The changes you need to make are actually pretty small. I've put together a few exercises and tips in this article that I have picked up along the way that will help you get a reign on this subject in a proactive way. I didn't invent any of this and I'm not the first to write it down but I hope this will help you feel a little less overwhelmed.
Let's look at an exercise. To my knowledge it doesn't have a name but that's ok you can make up your own name for it. If you sit down and actually think about it you don't really go as many places as you probably think you do on a regular basis. I'm guessing you probably really only go about 7 or 8 places. Now in this we aren't talking about vacations or anything like that this is about your normal daily routine. For me I go to the track, grocery store, the gas station, etc. Just normal places like that.I want you to get a piece of paper and write down all the normal places you go routinely. Once you've done that I want you to ask yourself some questions. Ask yourself in any one of these places What, How, Who, Where, and When would I be attacked? Do it for every location you wrote down. You'll come up with things you never though about and you'll already be finding solutions. Still a little confused? I'll do one with you as a sample and we'll use a grocery store. It's some place we all pretty much have to go.
Who would attack you?
This is a question only you can answer. It could be a random mugger sure. Does someone have a reason to be mad at you? For example do you owe someone money or going through a nasty divorce where child custody is involved. This can vary from person to person and depending on time and location. Take some time and think about it. Put some real thought into it.
How would they attack you?
Would they just bum rush you? It's possible but probably not. The large majority of these assaults or attacks start with some type of verbal exchange. In self defense circles it's often referred to as the interview phase of the attack where you are being sized up. Let me give you a few tips on how to tell if something doesn't fit. I'm sure others could add to this all day but these are some good ones.
1. Looking around as they approach - Someone says Sir or Ma'am do you have a moment then they look around for no apparent reason as they approach you. This is very odd they could be looking to make sure there are no witnesses. They could be looking to see if there is a security camera up that could identify them. Either way this is out of the ordinary and you should be leery of it.
2. The arms don't move as they approach - In anthropology humans are what is known as a diagonal walkers. That means when the right foot moves forward the left arm sways a little bit. It's normal for people's arms to move. In the animal kingdom when animals lumber around on all fours it's perceived as a sign of anger and aggression by other animals. It should be perceived that way by you as well. This should also be a trigger for you to look at the hands. Are they clenched? This could also be a tell that they are concealing a weapon in one hand or the other.
3. Watch for the weight shift - When a person shifts weight and begins to blade their stance an assault could very well be imminent. This isn't always noticeable and definitely isn't noticeable if you aren't paying attention. This could very well be a chance for a pre-emptive strike on your part to escape. They could also be using this to attempt to conceal a weapon draw from a pocket or waistband. A good idea in this case is to look at the elbow. Look in the mirror and try to take something from your waistband without bending your elbow outward. Probably can't do it can you? That's a good thing to know.
4. Protect your space - Of course the best thing to do in these circumstances when possible is to get the hell out of there. Barring that if you see any of these triggers don't let them get near you if possible. Get loud and draw attention to yourself curse if you have you. You don't have to let them into your space. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Do not ignore your intuition. Intuition is a great tool and you should listen to it.
With what would they attack you?
So lets say you blow all of that stuff are they going to be empty handed is it just a plain old assault? Would they have a gun? Would they have a knife? Do you have training to deal with these things? If not maybe you need to find some. Honestly it could be any of those things. As a general rule your money isn't worth your life. If that's what it's about just give it to them. Even if you have some training there's no guarantee that you won't be stabbed or shot. However if they are attempting to move you to another location you probably need to fight. They could very well be moving you somewhere else to kill you there or do something else to you.
The Where and the When
These two may be separate but for this example of the exercise they are related. I picked the example of the grocery store. As far as the where it probably isn't going to be in the produce section. I just can't see someone flying up out of the lettuce bringing the black death. In a public place like than the usual culprit is on your way into the business or on your way out of it headed back to the car. To deal with this only requires common sense. This could also be true of a parking garage. Don't talk on the phone on the way to your car or text. If your car isn't a keyless entry then get your keys out before you walk outside. Be aware and confident don't look like someone who isn't paying attention. Just simple things like this make a huge difference. The when of this situation is basically going to be when it's most opportune for the attacker. I know there's grocery stores and super markets that stay open all night. Some people like to shop there late at night because there is less of a crowd and it's more convenient for them. Remember safety in numbers? It's more convenient but also more dangerous. If your going to do this try parking as close to the entrance as possible where it's more well lit. Take someone with you when you go shopping. If your not comfortable ask someone in the store to walk you to your car and in most cases they will.
In closing take a night when you aren't doing anything and sit down and write this out and do this exercise. Be proactive about awareness and avoidance. If you do this you'll be surprised at how much you teach yourself. Alot of the places you go the techniques will overlap. Your going to find out this is more easier and more manageable than you ever thought. You don't have to be afraid to go out and live your life. Just be smart and change simple things. Do this exercise and you'll be surprised at just how much more aware you become without really even being conscious of it. Most of all don't be afraid to do the things you do and don't let anyone tell you that you should be. Just simply be cautious and use good judgement. Be aware and be safe!
However there are alot of well meaning and inadvertent fear-mongers out there that make this seem unmanageable and overwhelming when they cover it. It can be very confusing to someone new. They can make it sound like you need to be afraid every time you leave the house. This of course is wrong. The changes you need to make are actually pretty small. I've put together a few exercises and tips in this article that I have picked up along the way that will help you get a reign on this subject in a proactive way. I didn't invent any of this and I'm not the first to write it down but I hope this will help you feel a little less overwhelmed.
Let's look at an exercise. To my knowledge it doesn't have a name but that's ok you can make up your own name for it. If you sit down and actually think about it you don't really go as many places as you probably think you do on a regular basis. I'm guessing you probably really only go about 7 or 8 places. Now in this we aren't talking about vacations or anything like that this is about your normal daily routine. For me I go to the track, grocery store, the gas station, etc. Just normal places like that.I want you to get a piece of paper and write down all the normal places you go routinely. Once you've done that I want you to ask yourself some questions. Ask yourself in any one of these places What, How, Who, Where, and When would I be attacked? Do it for every location you wrote down. You'll come up with things you never though about and you'll already be finding solutions. Still a little confused? I'll do one with you as a sample and we'll use a grocery store. It's some place we all pretty much have to go.
Who would attack you?
This is a question only you can answer. It could be a random mugger sure. Does someone have a reason to be mad at you? For example do you owe someone money or going through a nasty divorce where child custody is involved. This can vary from person to person and depending on time and location. Take some time and think about it. Put some real thought into it.
How would they attack you?
Would they just bum rush you? It's possible but probably not. The large majority of these assaults or attacks start with some type of verbal exchange. In self defense circles it's often referred to as the interview phase of the attack where you are being sized up. Let me give you a few tips on how to tell if something doesn't fit. I'm sure others could add to this all day but these are some good ones.
1. Looking around as they approach - Someone says Sir or Ma'am do you have a moment then they look around for no apparent reason as they approach you. This is very odd they could be looking to make sure there are no witnesses. They could be looking to see if there is a security camera up that could identify them. Either way this is out of the ordinary and you should be leery of it.
2. The arms don't move as they approach - In anthropology humans are what is known as a diagonal walkers. That means when the right foot moves forward the left arm sways a little bit. It's normal for people's arms to move. In the animal kingdom when animals lumber around on all fours it's perceived as a sign of anger and aggression by other animals. It should be perceived that way by you as well. This should also be a trigger for you to look at the hands. Are they clenched? This could also be a tell that they are concealing a weapon in one hand or the other.
3. Watch for the weight shift - When a person shifts weight and begins to blade their stance an assault could very well be imminent. This isn't always noticeable and definitely isn't noticeable if you aren't paying attention. This could very well be a chance for a pre-emptive strike on your part to escape. They could also be using this to attempt to conceal a weapon draw from a pocket or waistband. A good idea in this case is to look at the elbow. Look in the mirror and try to take something from your waistband without bending your elbow outward. Probably can't do it can you? That's a good thing to know.
4. Protect your space - Of course the best thing to do in these circumstances when possible is to get the hell out of there. Barring that if you see any of these triggers don't let them get near you if possible. Get loud and draw attention to yourself curse if you have you. You don't have to let them into your space. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Do not ignore your intuition. Intuition is a great tool and you should listen to it.
With what would they attack you?
So lets say you blow all of that stuff are they going to be empty handed is it just a plain old assault? Would they have a gun? Would they have a knife? Do you have training to deal with these things? If not maybe you need to find some. Honestly it could be any of those things. As a general rule your money isn't worth your life. If that's what it's about just give it to them. Even if you have some training there's no guarantee that you won't be stabbed or shot. However if they are attempting to move you to another location you probably need to fight. They could very well be moving you somewhere else to kill you there or do something else to you.
The Where and the When
These two may be separate but for this example of the exercise they are related. I picked the example of the grocery store. As far as the where it probably isn't going to be in the produce section. I just can't see someone flying up out of the lettuce bringing the black death. In a public place like than the usual culprit is on your way into the business or on your way out of it headed back to the car. To deal with this only requires common sense. This could also be true of a parking garage. Don't talk on the phone on the way to your car or text. If your car isn't a keyless entry then get your keys out before you walk outside. Be aware and confident don't look like someone who isn't paying attention. Just simple things like this make a huge difference. The when of this situation is basically going to be when it's most opportune for the attacker. I know there's grocery stores and super markets that stay open all night. Some people like to shop there late at night because there is less of a crowd and it's more convenient for them. Remember safety in numbers? It's more convenient but also more dangerous. If your going to do this try parking as close to the entrance as possible where it's more well lit. Take someone with you when you go shopping. If your not comfortable ask someone in the store to walk you to your car and in most cases they will.
Means, Opportunity, & Intent
Here is a new one that was originally not part of this article. For violence to take place at all 3 things have to be in alignment. They must have means, opportunity, & intent. If one of these 3 things is missing then violence cannot occur. If they have a means of attacking you but not the opportunity then it can't happen and the same if it's the other way around. If intent is present then they just won't attack. This is something to think about during your awareness and avoidance strategies and when your brainstorming. It also fits into everything else above. Walking to your car late at night would put all 3 of those things together. It doesn't mean we can do things it just means these are the moments we should be more aware. Another example of this would be what Marc MacYoung refers to as Disneyland Mentality. Disneyland Mentality refers to basically your at work all week and decide to go out and party on the weekends. People get drunk and put themselves in situations they wouldn't normally be in because they think nothing bad can happen when in fact, it's the main time something bad happens with certain types of violence because there is a total lack of awareness.
In closing take a night when you aren't doing anything and sit down and write this out and do this exercise. Be proactive about awareness and avoidance. If you do this you'll be surprised at how much you teach yourself. Alot of the places you go the techniques will overlap. Your going to find out this is more easier and more manageable than you ever thought. You don't have to be afraid to go out and live your life. Just be smart and change simple things. Do this exercise and you'll be surprised at just how much more aware you become without really even being conscious of it. Most of all don't be afraid to do the things you do and don't let anyone tell you that you should be. Just simply be cautious and use good judgement. Be aware and be safe!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Tiananmen Massacre In Pictures
Remember June 4th 1989...Never take the freedom you have for granted
Introduction to Human Behavioral Biology
Awhile back we posted a lecture on Verbal Judo that alot of people seemed to really like. I ran across a series of lectures on youtube this one being the first of many. As for relevance to self defense I feel that in the fields of de-escalation and avoidance you have to also be a student of human behavior so any of the knowledge contained in the below lecture from Standford University could be helpful. - Paul Green
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